"Ow! What’s this? Oh, the tag’s still pinned on."

"Oh, I’ll take that…"

"Hang on, I want to see what it says. Hey! What the hell are you doing making lingerie for Major Kira?!" <smack><smack><smack>

***

Later that day:

Kira marched into Garak’s shop, face red with anger. She had wanted to surprise Odo, but, well, things weren’t exactly going as planned… "Garak!" she shouted.

A rather disheveled Cardassian appeared after a delay of a few moments. "Can I help you, Major?"

"This doesn’t fit right."

Garak examined the tag carefully and frowned. "I’m sorry, it appears I’ve given you the wrong item. Give me a minute to look: I’m sure the one you ordered is in the back."

Bashir, who was lounging on the sewing table and had heard the entire conversation, practically ripped the mis-assigned lingerie from Garak’s hand. He checked the tag and snickered. "I’ll never look at Commander Worf the same way…" he mused.

***

And the next day:

"Mr Garak," Worf rumbles as he enters, "when will my-- Oh. Hello, Doctor."

"Hello…" Bashir bit his lip in an effort to refrain from cracking up, then his tongue, then finally blurted out to distract himself, "Is that lavender?" and hurried out of the room.

Worf looked after him suspiciously, then eyed the contents of the room as he waited for that Cardassian p’tahk to arrive with his, uh, clothing. Just a little something to keep Jadzia on her toes… A spectacular Lwaxana Troi-type dress complete with elaborate wig caught his attention and he moved closer to inspect the tag.

"The Constable?" he exclaimed when he was able to decipher Garak’s "tailor’s scrawl". Well. Perhaps those vaunted shape-shifting skills *did* have limits.

***

"Stunning," Garak said, fixing the last bobby pin in Odo’s new wig. "A masterpiece."

"If you do say so yourself," Odo muttered wryly, smoothing his skirt.

"Sort of Thirteenth-Empire Cardassian, I think. It looks lovely."

"I was thinking more along the lines of contemporary Betazoid, but come to think of it, the styles are very similar. Funny how humanoids think they’re being so original…" Odo admired his reflection in the mirror, the shimmering brocade of the dress, the spilling lavender curls of the wig. "I think I ought to take this off if I want to keep my image as the staid security chief," he decided.

"Go ahead into the back room," Garak directed him. The Changeling slipped behind the draperies, his long train following him.

As Odo worked his way out of the dress-- a humanoid would have needed help, but a changeling can manufacture as many fingers as necessary-- he heard the swoosh of doors and Garak’s greeting as another customer entered. A familiar brogue asked, "Is my order ready?" Odo wondered what Chief O’Brien needed from Garak: perhaps a gift for Keiko, or for that cute new computer engineer…

"Of course, Chief, it’s in the back, if you’ll wait just a second." Garak ducked through the draperies. To Odo, he hissed, "Stay back here until the Chief leaves. He’s under the impression that there’s no one else here, and I’d like to keep him that way."

Odo nodded. As the Cardassian returned to the front of his shop, Odo caught a glimpse of the Chief’s order: a good deal of black leather and was that-- chains? Odo combined himself with the draperies and watched O’Brien unfold the bundle. Definitely chains. But he’d missed the pink taffeta before.

***

"Garak, it *still* doesn’t fit!" Kira came storming through the door, straight into O’Brien. "Oh, sorry, Chief," she said as she tried to hide the lingerie behind her back. "I didn’t see…" She trailed off as her eyes lit on the Chief’s order.

"That’s quite alright, Major," Garak said smoothly when it became clear she wouldn’t continue. "Now, your clothing… I must have the measurements wrong… If you’ll just step out the back here I’ll redo them…"

He pushed Kira lightly into the back room, forgetting completely about Odo as he blocked her view of O’Brien’s outfit with the draperies.

"I still don’t understand why I have to take off my clothes to be measured," she said petulantly as she obliged. "…Did that drapery just *growl*?"

"Stress getting to you, Major?" Garak said, but kept a respectful distance from both the drapery and the Major as he took the new measurements. "Oh dear, this uniform of yours is a *wreck*. Here, wrap yourself in this curtain while I go replicate you a new one."

"I really don’t think--" Kira began as he wrapped her in the drapery then stopped in startlement. "Er, Garak, this drapery of yours… mmm… Is it supposed to-- ohh… *move* like this? Ohhhhhhhhmmmmmm……"

"Uh, Garak," O’Brien said with interest as the tailor emerged, "I don’t suppose those draperies of yours are for sale?"

"Oh, I doubt it would do you any good, Chief," Garak began, then hesitated. "Well… I suppose it might depend on how much you were willing to pay…" There was always Risa, after all…

***

Bashir snuggled further under the covers and idly traced a circle on Garak’s chest. "You know, there’s one thing about all this that I don’t understand."

"Oh? What’s that, Julian?"

"Well, no offense to your interpersonal skills, but I’m a little surprised at how all the crew trusted you with their deepest secrets like that."

"I’m a very trustworthy person."

Bashir nodded solemnly. "I’m sure you are, Elim, I’m sure you are. But still…"

"Well, it’s really quite simple…"

"Oh?"

"You may recall that your, er, bear disappeared some months ago…"

That got the Doctor’s attention. "Kookalocka? Do you know where he is?"

"Oh yes, I--"

"Well, why didn’t you tell me?!"

"As I was saying, Julian, I came across him on the floor of our quarters looking somewhat the worse for wear, so I crafted him a very fashionable suit of the finest quality black leather--"

"You dressed my bear in *black leather*?!"

"I had a surplus of it at the time… Unfortunately I had only just finished when Chief O’Brien came to inquire about a suit, and since I slightly suspected that this would be your reaction I asked him to keep it quiet…"

"And he blackmailed you!" Bashir exclaimed delightedly.

"Well, something to that effect, yes." Garak looked slightly miffed. "The word got around and soon everyone was coming to me with rather odd requests. I didn’t object because I am a kind man at heart--"

"And because they were blackmailing you."

"If you must put it so crudely."

Bashir was pensively quiet for a moment then gets a wicked grin. "Black leather, huh? So, where’s Kookalocka now?"

"Why, I do believe I have him with me."

"In *bed*?"

"Well, not *in* the bed, obviously." Garak reached over the side and produced the leather-clad bear.

"Kookalocka!" Bashir snatched the bear and examined it carefully before breathing a sigh of relief. "He’s alright. And… I guess leather suits him."

"So do I, Julian, so do I."

And in the lazy bustle of the station night, two men and a bear made each other very happy indeed.