| Once upon a time there were three crewmembers. They lived on the Voyager in the Delta Quadrant. On their way to the Alpha Quadrant they came to a Kazon shipping lane. Just as they were about to cross, a Kazon ship leapt out from behind a nearby planet.
"Who’s that driving through *my* lane?" the Kazon roared.
"It’s just Voyager trying to get home," said Tom Paris.
"Well, I’m going to blow your ship up," the Kazon roared.
"Uh oh," said Tom Paris. "Wait! I’m just little and soft and squidgy and don’t explode good. Why don’t I get my superior officer?" And he scurried off.
"Well, I don’t have anything better to do," the Kazon said, and hid back behind the planet.
=/\=
Tom Paris went and got Commander Chakotay. Chakotay looked at a console and couldn’t see any Kazon ships, so he started to cross the shipping lane. Suddenly the Kazon ship leapt out from behind the planet.
"Who’s that driving through *my* lane?" the Kazon roared.
"It’s just Voyager trying to get home," said Chakotay.
"Well, I’m going to blow your ship up," the Kazon roared.
"Uh oh," said Chakotay. "Wait! I’m just little and soft and squidgy and don’t explode good. Why don’t I get my superior officer?" And he scurried off.
"Well, I don’t have anything better to do," the Kazon said, and hid back behind the planet.
=/\=
Chakotay went and got the captain. Captain Janeway looked at a console and couldn’t see any Kazon ships, so she started to cross the shipping lane. Suddenly the Kazon ship leapt out from behind the planet.
"Who’s that driving through *my* lane?" the Kazon roared.
"It’s just Voyager trying to get home," said the Captain. "Have you got a problem with that?"
"Not at all," the Kazon roared, "because I’m going to blow your ship up."
"Shut up and let us past," the Captain growled, "or I’ll phaser you into such oblivion your liver alone will spread across two-thirds of the quadrant."
"I’m not scared of you," the Kazon roared, so the Captain phasered him into such oblivion his liver alone spread across two-thirds of the quadrant.
"Cool," said Tom Paris, and the three crewmembers crossed the shipping lane and continued on their way home.
=/\=
Moral of the story: Don’t mess with the Captain when there’s a coffee shortage. |
