| After Spock had made first contact with the Horta, the Federation wanted to set up diplomatic relations with them, so that - as the earnest Bolian ambassador put it - "Our different philosophies, arising from our different lifestyles, may be exchanged to the benefit of both our peoples."
The Horta ambassador was duly transported to Earth, the Federation’s capital, via the USS Constitution and met by the Bolian, who greeted the rock with such a hearty flow of words that even the reporters couldn’t transcribe the whole speech.
At the end of what must have taken almost quarter of an hour, the Horta said simply, through its voice simulator, "Thank you, Ambassador. I also am glad to meet you."
The Bolian was a little surprised at the shortness of the Horta’s reply, but recovered quickly, and suggested they continue their meeting in a more informal setting. "I know a little place in an area the humans call Poland," he said.
The Horta agreed and, on the way to the transporter, it listened patiently to the Bolian enthusing about the setting of the bar and the friendliness of its owner, Harvey.
True to form, Harvey greeted them as soon as they’d walked in the door and asked what they would have to drink.
"A papalla juice for me," the Bolian said. "Ambassador, what--"
"I will not drink, Ambassador," the Horta said.
The Bolian was quite taken aback. "If you’re worried about the selection, Harvey’s got everything, from Altair water to Aldebaren whiskey. Why don’t you--"
"I will not drink," the Horta repeated, and made its way to a nearby table.
The Bolian was about to speak again when Harvey shook his head and suggested he drop the subject. So he did, and despite the Horta’s brevity and the Bolian’s effusiveness the negotiations were a success, as anyone who reads the newspapers or Peter David’s ‘New Frontier’ will know.
But even when the Horta had left, the Bolian was still perplexed about it refusing a drink, and went to ask why Harvey had told him to change the subject.
"You see, Ambassador, there’s an old Earth saying," Harvey said.
"What’s that? I can’t think of anything that might be applicable to the situation, and although I’m not familiar with all Earth proverbs, I dare say I know most of the usual--"
"It’s one of the most common of all," Harvey said, being used to having to interrupt the Bolian, and he recited: "You can lead a Horta to Warsaw, sir, but you can’t make it drink." |
